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Some women experience morning sickness. Others suffer drastic ups and downs in hormone levels. I had neither. Instead, I was the pregnant woman who worried about anything and everything for 10 whole months. There was one particular worry that ran through my brain over and over like a hamster on a treadmill: How was my seven-year-old stepson going to handle the change?

New Sibling My stepson was an only child, and while a baby brother or sister was always top on his Christmas and birthday wish lists, we weren’t really sure how he would react when his wish came true. At seven years old, an only child gets used to having the full attention of both his parents. We spent hours in the early days of my pregnancy discussing how we could help make a smooth transition and how we could involve our big boy in every aspect of welcoming baby into the family, starting with breaking the news.

When we finally decided to share the news of a new sibling, we crafted the moment and imagined his reaction. We brought him into the guest room and told him we needed his help; we wanted to paint the room but couldn’t decide on a color. He wanted orange, his favorite color du jour. We explained it depended who lived in the room. He furrowed his brow, as we scripted he would. "Who’s gonna live in our guest room?" he asked, again, as predicted. We led him through the rest of the conversation until he finally came to the right conclusion. "I’m getting a baby brother or sister!" he screamed. He screamed; I cried. It was all going so perfectly. We tried to lengthen the moment, but as with any seven year old, his attention span was minimal. After a few jumps up and down and hugs all around, he asked if he could go back to his cartoons. No, he didn’t have any questions, he said. "O.K." Why did I ever worry?

We must have made the offer to answer questions a million times during the next six months. I worried I would have to explain where babies come from, and I did. I was relieved to learn that a simple explanation of love, decisions and doctors was enough to satisfy his curiosity. Whew! Of course, I worried I would have to go into more detail when baby came. Thank goodness, I did not.

I worried right up until the moment I went into labor. Fortunately our son was in school when it happened. I always feared I would go into labor in the middle of the night, and our son would have lasting resentment at being whisked off to a relative’s home in his sleep. I worried again after the baby was born, and my husband left to surprise the new brother at school.

I took a deep breath when our boy walked through the hospital door. His face lit up, and he ran to hug me. He hovered over his baby sister. He was in awe of every aspect of her smallness. He watched sweetly as I fed and burped her, and he held her so gently, it was as if his arms had been waiting for her forever. His voice immediately changed into a singsong replica of his own, cooing and talking away. "I love you, baby sister," he said. It was at that moment, I knew I would never worry again.

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Parental Discipline I highly doubt many people follow the suggestions of the experts from this show and that. These experts recommend would-be-parents set aside time before baby’s arrival to discuss how to handle discipline for the child. I think new parents have their hands full trying to make it through the first pregnancy! Despite my sarcasm, I have to agree on one point; discussing how to discipline a child must be done before the child is in need of discipline!

Parental Discipline When baby boy is nine months old and repeatedly pulling the dog’s tail, how should you react? Some parents will insist a firm voice repeating "No," along with physically removing the infant’s hand is enough to deter future tail pulling. Another parent may say this behavior warrants a slap on the hand. Different parents parent in different ways. What to do when the opposing parents reside in the same home? This is where communication is key.

Before baby gets to Fido’s tail, bring up the subject. Try role-playing the scenario. Find our where your partner’s disciplinary measures have their roots. Most likely, you will parent as your own parents did. As partners, you can help each other analyze the success of your parents’ methods. Did you stop hitting your sister when your mom spanked your bottom? If not, why repeat the cycle with your own son? If your wife’s parents used the Time Out method with success, why not try it for a while? No matter the decision, it’s one that needs to be made before the hand hits the tail.

Don’t limit the discussion to one behavior or one age. Consider the possibilities as baby turns one, then two, three and so on. What will you do when she hits or throw tantrums? How will you handle her refusal to eat and her defiant act of holding her breath in protest? What about the six year old who comes home from school using words best left to stand-up comics? Will his mouth be washed out with soap? Will you be truthful and explain the inappropriate meanings of the language?

Sure, it may seem pointless to plan the details of Junior’s revoked privileges when he takes the car out at age 14, but talking out possibilities will kick start an open line of communication between parents that will be easier to continue than start down the line. In addition, partners will be able to identify patterns in their spouse’s disciplinary tactics. If your husband’s reaction to most offenses involves quiet time, hugs and ‘I’m sorry’, and your punishments are more severe, involving loss of playtime or grounding, then you can consider yourself forewarned for the future. In such cases, finding common ground on the discipline field will take more work and compromise and possibly some trial and error with the kids.

So, when baby throws sand in the sandbox, you’ll be happy you and your spouse discussed discipline. Now, when she’s 15 and asks to go on a date? I’m sorry to say there is nothing parents can do to be prepared.

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